Sunday, 2 November 2014

last week I have been....

I have been sleeping badly lately. I fall asleep in a second but have weird dreams and wake early, sometimes hours before the alarm goes. I am tired and grumpy and tearful, too. Life is like that sometimes. I feel a bit like a hamster on a hamster wheel that never stops turning. In fact my wheel is accelerating. If you are looking for light entertainment, ignore the writing and enjoy the photos of our early October garden.



Let me tell you, last week has been crazy and I am knackered. It was crazy because I always think I can do this and there is no need to say no and because I am not noting stuff in the calendar, thereby pretending I have no commitments.

I spent two mornings in my new lab to find out what the duties for my new job will be. After years of teaching, it was weird to be back where I left a long time ago. I will be working as a technician rather than doing my own research but I like the idea of a job that doesn't bring with it the responsibilities of an academic teaching or research post. I'll be working 5 hours a day from tomorrow for about 4 months. I was pleased to find out that the community spirit I remember so fondly from my research days is still a reality and I am pleased that I still know how to handle a pipette. It'll be good. I'll still be able to do school runs and day time puppy care is going to be divided between myself, Richard and Sam.



I spent an afternoon interviewing prospective social workers for our adoption agency. The agency always asks adopters to independently interview the candidates to get an idea of their abilities to work with prospective and current adoptive parents. I find it really difficult to do all the applicants justice and I am pleased that our adoption agency is so diligent. This is so different to my own recent experience. I have been to many interviews this year and quite a few of the posts went to an internal candidate who of course has an advantage over external candidates just by virtue of being there and being in the know.The last interview (for an academic post) I went to was like that also. It is so frustrating to be one of several token interviewees invited because Human Resources guidelines have to be followed. I am glad I have a temporary job now.




I went back to our local Secondary School for a day to find out more about High School Science teaching. It was rather enjoyable and I got to meet new teachers and different classes. Our local Secondary School has a "good" mix of challenging pupils and "normal" pupils due to a large and socially divergent catchment area. I wonder at what stage my UCAS applications for teacher training are. I am still not quite sure if this is the path I want to take.

Other chores and delights were a vet visit, a dentist appointment, a PTA event, two Birthday parties (not ours), an afternoon of crafting at the community club and children's eye tests. All went well except that I took one wrong child (James) for the eye test and left one right child at home (Annie).



What bothers me more than anything else is that I have a dissertation deadline looming... I am finding it difficult to concentrate on my reading and writing and I hope my supervisor will not be too disappointed with my draft.

You may wonder how I manage to squeeze all this into one week? My solution is to ignore exercise and non essential housework. This does of course backfire. It always does. Firstly, I feel grumpy because of lack of positive energising exercise and secondly, when I am stressed and/or tired, mess and dirt bother me more. And so it will come as no surprise that yesterday, I absolutely had nothing better to do than to clean the tiled splashback behind the hob because I could simply not bear the sight of the greasy yellowish grout anymore. Equipped with toothbrush, bicarbonate of soda and an audiobook I spent a good while scrubbing the grout. For good measure, I used a little bleach, too. I don't like using bleach in the kitchen but on rare occasions I do. The result was astonishing. Unfortunately the squeaky clean splashback put the rest of the kitchen in a rather less favourable light. You know what comes next, don't you? Luckily, Richard took it upon himself to clean the rest of the kitchen from top to bottom. What would I do without him? I attacked the pile of ironing instead.

My poor children and Richard did suffer this week, I am sure they did. I have been snappy and shouty and not very patient with the poor souls.


So, here I am, writing this blog post instead of summarising the findings of my dissertation research.... next week will be great, I just know it.

Wishing you a lovely start to the week! Cx

21 comments:

  1. Those first couple of lines - me too, exactly the same. I was awake at 5.30 this morning (that's why I'm here reading this at ten past six). Two of my eldest's "friends" were really horrible to him (again) yesterday which doesn't help. He was in tears, then after he had gone to bed I was in tears. Nothing hurts so much as your child in pain does it. I think I probably need some exercise too, it would certainly help me sleep. I hope the new job goes well, the hours sound good. And I hope things go better with your dissertation too. These things have a way of coming together in the end. Wishing you a very good week Christina. CJ xx

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  2. Wishing you a better week this week than last. Hope the new job goes well, it certainly sounds just the ticket for the time being, fitting in with the school run etc. Fingers crossed for your dissertation you often think it is worse than it is.

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  3. Best of luck with the job, Christina and I hope you have a better week. Quite often I end up over committing to plans, not being realistic with my time and not focussing on what or who is really important. Result is that my family suffers and I am grumpy with everyone. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one in this situation and I hope that you do too xx

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  4. Sorry to hear you've had poor sleeps and a rotten week Christina. I recognise the hamster on a wheel analogy very well, also the feeling of rising panic when the house becomes an almost unmanageable mess, and the ironing, oh god, the ironing..... Many congratulations on the new job though! Sounds very positive X

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  5. Wishing you a better week Christina. I'm sure it is no consolation but I am just the same... I take on too much, then let other things slip and end up tired and grumpy. You would think that we would learn wouldn't you! Congratulations on the job.

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  6. You are so down to earth! I'm not sleeping well either recently. Both my husband and I had a horrible bug over the weekend but we went to bed last night knowing we had to get up at 6 am to go to work. I woke up and went to the bathroom, not knowing what time it was. My husband asked the time so I showed him the clock (which sits at my side of the bed) and told him I didn't want to know the time. He thought it was 6:15 and that he'd slept in. He was getting out of bed and heading for the shower when I checked the clock and found it was actually 3:15!! Needless to say I couldn't get back to sleep again!

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  7. I surprised you don't faint at night, you work so hard! I remember working and going to school at night, thank goodness our daughter was older or I'd never have got it all done.
    Good luck in the new job.
    About teaching, I'm a retired teacher, it's hard to teach something you love, a few will share your enthusiasm, most will not and that can lead to depression. Try to keep a sense of humor.

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  8. You sound just like me a couple of weeks ago except I don't have half as much to do as you. My advice is cut the cleaning but not the exercise - nothing like a walk to make you feel better. Get that little doggy a lead!

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  9. Life can be so full and overwhelming can't it? You are just being pulled in too many directions right now so no wonder you are a bit weepy, I am weepy too and have no where near what you have on your plate. The best advice I can give you is to take a deep breath. You are a brilliant Mother and wife, you now have a great part time job, and your children are thriving. It is all going to be okay. I so appreciate you being honest, hopefully you feel better getting it all written down.
    Sending you a big, big hug.
    Meredith

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  10. Hey Christina,
    It really sounds as if you are up to your eyes in it. Juggling so many different things and all the while feeling guilty for snapping occasionally. I threw a plate yesterday. What a pratt. Just because some things were getting on top of me. Hopefully your lab tech role will be absorbing enough, and I agree with Doris - get those running shoes on again! Here's to a better week all round. And your garden is looking lovely
    Leanne x

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  11. Hang in there lady, next week will be different - It might not be better but it will certainly be different at least!! That is how I look at it. Jo x

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  12. Well, the good news is that you have a new job, I hope that you enjoy it and enjoy the people that you will be working with. Also, how great that Richard cleaned the rest of the kitchen for you! Sorry though that you are obviously feeling overwhelmed and worn out in other things in life. I hope that the change of scene with getting out and going to work will help to cheer you and that good things will come which you will enjoy and make you happy again. Take care of yourself won't you and don't beat yourself up about missing things or getting anything wrong and certainly not about not doing housework! Hugs to you. xx

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  13. I often wonder if I could handle a pipette again, do the calculations as I once did and generally be in that lab mindset. I'm glad you liked your visit. I hope you're managing to sleep a bit better, it's hard when there's so much going on in your mind. I'm sure that your supervisor wont be disappointed with your dissertation, you've made a draft and that's the hardest thing, actually getting anything down on paper! I love the photos that illustrate this post. Hope your week goes well. xx

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  14. Lack of sleep is not a good recipe for a happy mama here either. You sound like you have a lot of plates spinning at the moment, I hope writing a blogpost has inspired you enough to tackle the dissertation nothing like a bit of displacement activity.........

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  15. Your cleaning frenzies sound like mine. Hope you have a good week and I am sure your supervisor wont be disappointed. You are making an effort. Loving your healthy zucchini's

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  16. HI lovely, I'm playing catch up. Well done on your new job, you find that those 5 hours fly by. Some days it feels like I fit a full days work into part time hours. I hope your sleep settles, it is not a nice feeling trying to function on little sleep - especially when so many people need so much from you. Don't forget to delegate! xo

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  17. It seems to be a mom's lot in life. We take on way too much, and then feel overwhelmed and exhausted from trying to do it all. Hopefully this next week will be a better one for you. I know you already know this, but investing some time in yourself will pay off huge dividends when it comes to having the focus and energy you need to get through everything that comes with raising kids, a puppy, going to a job, and all the other life things that are there for you to deal with.

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  18. Christina, I forgot to say that if you will email me your snail mail address I will have the publisher mail out the copy of my book that you won. hsknitter(at)yahoo.ca Thanks! :-)

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  19. Oh my goodness, what a hectic week you've had! I get extremely grumpy, weepy and emotional when I don't get enough sleep so I completely empathise with you! I hope this is a more relaxing week for you. x

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  20. Oh dear, Christina. It's a case of shared humanity, if that's any comfort to you. I am supposed to be working on my novel RIGHT NOW, yet I am reading (lovely) blog posts instead. I have ignored the need for exercise due to an extremely busy and hectic time at work and feel agitated as a result. The nightmares are pretty new for me, but my doctor tells me it's most likely hormones (how reassuring). Too many appointments, commitments, deadlines and responsibililties all around.

    Oh yes, another 'feast' of recognition: dirty things irritate the hell out of me when I'm tired too! I'm fine with it when I'm well-rested (I'm fine with anything when I'm well-rested), but when I'm tired: aarghhhh!

    Take care of yourself there xxx

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  21. Oh, lovely Christina, I'm worried that you're doing too much and running yourself ragged! I am someone who says "yes" to everything then regrets it later, so I know how overwhelming it is. Be kind to yourself, you are juggling 100 balls right now. I've been snappy and PMT-ish all week, it's not just you. xx

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Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment, I love to hear from you, I really do. I sometimes reply by email but I am not all that reliable... Christina xx