Friday, 9 December 2016

it is not always easy



It is not always easy to be in a positive frame of mind. At the moment I feel like running away and hide for a wee while. Or maybe a long while. Running away is of course not an option, my schedule won't allow it but dreaming is allowed, yes?

There isn't anything in particular that is bugging me, bits here and there add substance to a black cloud that threatens to burst and release negative energy.

Take the dog for example. I got out of the shower the other day to find a big poo in our bedroom. On closer inspection, there were two piles. Richard stepped in one. I am glad it wasn't me. Then I noticed that Jack had also peed on my jeans. That'll teach me to fold my clothes neatly and put them away rather than dumping them on the floor. The dog of course couldn't help himself, he was locked in and desperate to go out. On that day, I ate all the chocolates in my advent calendar.

Then I got annoyed with myself because I had put down an incomplete phone number on the party invites for Alistair's Birthday bash.... I was wondering why nobody RSVPed. Of course I didn't note down all the names of children we had invited and Alistair couldn't remember who he had added to his final list. We are talking about 10 children, not 100! I think between us we managed to write to the majority of the 10 children, giving the correct phone number to RSVP. We are hosting the party at home. I am starting to think this is madness with the house still not finished.

And of course there is Christmas. I have been in a Christmas denial mode up to this week but can no longer pretend it ain't happening. A house with plaster stuck to floors and furniture piled up high in all available spaces does not promote a festive Hygge feeling. I am starting to resent all the Hygge stuff (but remember, I am a grumpy woman). Looking into other people's houses as I rush home to collect children from childcare or walk them to activities shows a lot of loveliness in many houses, festive decorations, pretty lights, smiling people and more. I  can almost smell the dinners walking past. Dear friends, close your curtains so we, the unprepared, do not feel green with envy.

And so it goes...

Deep breath. Refocus.

Luckily in the dark sludge that is my bad overall mood, there are small shining diamonds of happiness:

::  Enjoying a meal with my lovely girl friends on Tuesday and then go to a gig afterwards. We went to the see The Julie Ruin if you are interested. It was fun. It was also my second gig in five days. The other one was the Pixies.

::  At said meal, not regretting my choice of food. I usually order the 'wrong' food. We went to the vegan CCA on Sauchiehall Street. The food was amazing and I'd go back any day.

::  Cycling along the canal for the first time in a while and being greeted by the old man who is always there with 'Hello stranger, it's good to see you, where have you been these past few weeks?'. This put a smile on my face on Thursday.

:: Alistair climbing onto my lap, telling me that he really really loves me.  And Alistair running back up the front steps to give me one last hug before going to school. The other three children don't seem to share his feelings, or don't care to show it.

:: Listening to my current audiobook, it is a wonderful story and I enjoy every minute of it. It is called 'All the light we cannot see' by Anthony Doerr.

:: Seeing the floor going down in the extension. I am starting to feel exited about having the house to ourselves again!

I hope I haven't darkened your moods my dear friends. I'll resume my normal cheerful service soon. In the meantime, I wish you a wonderful weekend. xx

22 comments:

  1. it just sounds like life, there is good days and bad days, I hope your good ones start to outweigh the grumpy ones soon :-)

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  2. Join me in saying Bah Humbug to the world. I don't think you are alone in feeling like this this year. It's been a bad year, all in all, for lots of people and that's a pity. Even optimists have bad days. Hang on in there, grab the small pieces of hygge when you can and we'll ride out the dark storm together.

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  3. Hope all goes well with the party invites and that now you get all the RSVPs. This time of year is manic for most people so you are definitely not alone. Take care, things will get better.

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  4. Glad you got it off your chest. It has to be done. Some of them made me laugh, now that isn't kind. Glad you got your big hug from Alistair. We are getting a bit more festive but still a loooooooonnnnnnng way to go. It will happen is always my motto, somehow it always does. B xxx

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  5. That is a great book - my book club read it last year and the discussion was intense. Do you have your tree up? Maybe just that one thing would make you feel better (and a glass of wine!)

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  6. Sounds like too much on your plate at the moment... I sympathise. All the Light you Cannot See is a wonderful book. Take care xxx

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  7. Hey Christina,
    Taking the rough with the smooth here, too. Fighting through the dark, and looking for the light. Keep peddling lovely.
    Leanne xx

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  8. It's that time of year when Christmas goes from being too far away to start thinking about to being JUST AROUND THE CORNER. I have scheduled in a quick panic for sometime towards the end of next week. I hope you'll feel cheerier when you have a beautiful new kitchen to be in. I wouldn't worry too much about the party. No doubt the children will all have a wonderful time and be completely oblivious to any building work. I hope you're feeling more chipper soon. I have those feelings too, so I can sympathise. Sending you a hug. CJ xx

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    1. You schedule your panic? Now I feel really intimidated!

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  9. It will get better you know. Here's a little gift for you. Whenever I go to Blogger I scroll through my Reading List and if your Blog pops up I smile and read it first, it's aways a treat, so real and full of love, you even forgave the dog.

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    1. I do the same too! I guess we all like a bit of Christina. x

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  10. You are definitely allowed to have a little gripe session Christina. Major renovations are a major stress, if a self imposed one, and especially during the holiday season. It will come to an end! I am speaking from experience - plaster work that drags on for several weeks with 9 sets of paw prints throughout it is quite the hassle. It is good that you can realize the good things in your life.

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  11. Ummmm well my curtains are not drawn...but I must say that my enthusiasm for celebrating feels hampered at the moment, and I am ill prepared for creating perfection...but like you trying to participate in love around me. Sending you hugs from across the pond, and cheering us both along our merry ways, Christina xxxxx

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  12. Hello! Well isn't that just the point? That if life was just plain sailing that it would be a) unreal and b) boring. Here's wishing you a lovely weekend which from the sounds of it, basically means preferably one without the party goers stepping in dog turds in the bedroom!!!
    Wren x

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  13. Oh Christina, it's blinking hard some times. Sounds as though you are getting out and doing stuff for yourself, though, which is great (the Pixies!!). Ups and downs, and roundabouts. I'm glad you have Alistair for hugs. It's bonkers here, too. I was up at 5.45 (what's that all about!) which is unheard of because I had to write some stuff down before it left my wandering mind. Anyway, hope you have a lovely weekend and don't worry about the party! Sam xx

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  14. You went to see the PIXIES! now I love you more than I did before! Your mood will lift, there is nothing worse than the near end of a kitchen extension and total house chaos to cloud the mood of the most cheery woman. As for the party, stressful I know but it will all be fine. Jo xx

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  15. ooh The Pixies! I've been a grump. I hate this time of the year due to school. Schools finish here for the entire year, so not only Christmas stuff, but the sorting out, prize givings, trips, nonsense that goes on. I'm deadly jealous of my 3 who have been off for 1-3 weeks now and I have to drag myself to my workplace for 4 last days. I'll be cheery the day the 6-7 weeks summer hols start. We are renovating too, but just one room, so a teenager is living in the lounge. Christmas prep can not happen until he moves back into his room in a few days. Big hugs to you - I'm sure things will be cherry soon.

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  16. Oh Christina, I think we've all "been there, done that." There are those times when there are more things on our plate than we can handle. Or I should say that we can handle and still have a smile on our faces. I have lived through major renovations and I know it can wear you down. Hopefully once you get your house put back together again things will seem cheerier. I have to say I did laugh at your confession about eating all the chocolates in your advent calendar.

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  17. With you on the Christmas denial bit, just can't be bothered at the moment. I love Pixies!!!! Saw them a couple of years ago, would love to see them again.

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  18. I am a bit of a grump at the moment as well, no kitchen, stuff everywhere, and slight Christmas denial. But, hopefully next week, a sparkly new kitchen, and everything else falling into place.

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  19. Can I just tell you that I love you! Oh my goodness I needed to read this as I am in a foul mood. I am over Christmas and it isn't even here yet, and I am not having my house done over. I feel like I am on a wheel running and I can't get off. I finally took an hour today to get on my favorite blogs to find I was four days behind, really? I had a huge list of Christmas things to do this weekend, and woke with a migraine, well that was it for yesterday. Ah well, soon it will be December 26, right?

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  20. I've finally been able to catch up with your blog again after a few weeks of madness. I think we all need that meltdown moment - mine was at 9pm last Wednesday - but you always know that it never lasts and having those shining lights to run towards does make it better. "It is how it is," our builder used to say when he came into the building site that was our home every morning during our extension. It's quite a useful phrase at this time of year too xx

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Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment, I love to hear from you, I really do. I sometimes reply by email but I am not all that reliable... Christina xx