Friday musings
 |
| oh to have a dog's life! |
Another Friday is upon us. This is the last Friday at my current job, I have two days left next week before I move on to a new job for six months. Thereafter, only time will tell. Academia is like that, tiresome, unpredictable and ruthless. I guess many other sectors are like that, too. Still, I enjoy my work when I have work and these past two years have been immensely enjoyable. I can't imagine not working, it is just not me (I have tried). My new post will allow me to be home when school is out, something which makes my heart beat faster with excitement. These past two years of full time work have been relentless and I missed having a bit more time for being a mum. I have delegated so many traditional mum jobs to my older children that the mountain of guilt I carry is sometimes too big to see past. The shear impossibility of finding childcare really didn't leave any other option than asking the older ones to take care of the little ones after school, giving them snacks, listening to their stories, doing homework. Sometimes they even cook dinner.
I am quite exited about my new job and I am really looking forward to a new challenge. I am also really looking forward to taking the not so little ones to the park after school or even taking them for their long overdue dental checkup. I am looking forward to being a bit less grumpy (ever so optimistic).
You see, I may seem like super woman sometimes, for example when I show you my newest makes or tell you about our latest adventures but really, I am just as vulnerable to the pressures of a modern life as everybody else. To be able to do all I want to do, I have to make choices every day, something always has to give. I choose to stay up late so I can work on that quilt/blanket/cardigan. I choose to see past the pile of shoes in the porch and I choose not to make my bed (or anyone else's) in the morning even though I would love love to turn out the bed in the evening and slip into the smooth covers for a good nights sleep. My children's toe nails are not always clipped when they should be and sometimes they go to school with a dirty uniform. I choose to listen to audiobooks instead of reading a book because it allows me to double task even though turning the pages of crisp new books is one of my favourite things to do. I spend next to no time on my appearance, my hair is a mess and I have a style that defies description. My experience of the world is rather limited, I spend far too little time informing myself about current affairs. I have given up pretty much all other commitments that I enjoyed or thought were important to support (community club, PTA etc). I am often in a foul mood.
Making choices is important but being in the right support framework is even more important. I have a husband who does as much in the house as I do. For him I am grateful. And of course I have Sam and Annie that help when help is needed, sometimes with rather more huffing and puffing and shouting than is strictly necessary but who am I to complain?
I am energetic, which helps.
So, next time I show you a beautiful finished object (soon) or a particularly pretty corner of my house (soon) remember the pile of shoes in my porch and the still unwashed macaroni and cheese dish slowly coming to life in the kitchen sink.
Not really sure where that all came from, I really just wanted write that I am looking forward to working less:-)
Have a lovely weekend xx
Well said Christina. So often people leave me comments here to say I must be superwoman or not sleep, and whilst I hope people find that inspiring it is certainly not a true reflection of my life. I don't think I'm grumpy but I'm often chronically tired. I think you'll enjoy the extra time with your little ones but don't feel guilty about giving your older two more responsibility. It will help them be better adults. Have a good weekend xx
ReplyDeleteHey Christina,
ReplyDeleteYou have always been refreshingly honest about how it rolls for you and your family. I think that the way you all work as a team - even with the odd grumble - is brilliant. I admire it so. You put the most important things first. All boys like to chew their own toe nails, and that pan soaking will be fine left until tomorrow. Have a great weekend, my friend. And thank you so much for you welcome back comments over at Today's Stuff.
Leanne xx
The grumble is often a roar but the prospect of earning money helps to keep the beasts at bay... Teamwork is a very kind way to describe a mini dictatorship. Thank you ever so much, dear friend. It was absolutely supercalifragilisticexpiraleedocious to see you are back to writing. xx
DeleteIt sounds like your new job may give you the best of both words - work, plus time to visit the park after school. I miss those impromptu trips to the park! I am going for pedicures, brunch and most importantly, mimosas with my 23 year old daughter tomorrow, so that's a good thing too :-)
ReplyDeleteWell said! I'm sick of lifestyles blogs full of carefully engineered shots and waffle about how tired the writer is from hanging about all day. I always worked and my daughter thought it strange that other mums did not. Our choice/their choice are both ok but eventually we had someone to help with cleaning and paid her well above minimum wage as I was so glad that DH and I didn't have to spend previous family time doing it. Our daughter turned out just fine and independent despite criticisms received about our parenting style! I spent 2 years in academia but it was not for me and the travelling on the motorway really git me down. It seems to me that your family is doing just fine-so just keep on doing it your way and before you know it they will all be grown and flown. Then the fun begins-trust me. Catriona
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you'll be able to spend more time at home with your new job. You sound really excited about it!
ReplyDeleteAlways honest, that's what I love about your writing Christina. My house is usually a bit of a tip, and everybody seems to survive unharmed! X
ReplyDeleteI do think you're a wonder woman, working full time and keeping a family of six together, let alone finding time for yourself. I only had one child and if my working hours had matched hers I couldn't have done it. My husband was in the Army and often gone.
ReplyDeleteYou are wonderful and so honest! I could have written that! You will love your shortened hours! Education has drained me to the point I have little trust in it at any school in NZ. Thursdays off now save me. Nothing gets done all week here, the boys look after themselves and sometimes get their own dinner, while I juggle exhaustion and frustration from work and 25 hours of study on top. I've 2 family events this weekend which don't thrill me, so zero will get down around the house from me; and we'll go into the week well behind again. I could quit my work but would have no idea what to do!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you have a new job with more time off. I think you're amazing Christina, you do a top job of it all. Hope you have a lovely weekend with a little time for yourself. CJ xx
ReplyDeleteThe new working pattern sounds much better. I struggle just with eight to sixteen hours work, juggling childcare etc. I always enjoy reading about what you do. X
ReplyDeleteA very from the heart post Christina, thank you. You voice how many of us have felt at various stages of our lives. Well done for doing those things that are important to you. Don't feel guilt for your older children. I'm sure they are much more life savvy people because of it. Enjoy your new job and have a great weekend. B x
ReplyDeleteThere is more to life than living in a show home, you sound like my type of person, I do find that those who live in pristine homes are very boring, It will be lovely for you all to spend more time together make the most of it they grow up so fast :-)
ReplyDeletehope the new job goes well, it all sounds great, apart from the dentist x
ReplyDeleteI loved your post, so true! How many times do we sweep all the crap out of the way to set up that perfect blog post photo, thank goodness no one can see the rest of the room! X
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up, there is only the two of us now and yet still there are shoes in the hall and coats on the bannister. Wishing you every success with your new job and working hours, hope it all works out as you want it to. I love your honesty Christina, very refreshing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your refreshingly honest post. Even though I am past the first family stage and am onto the grandchildren part I can identify with so much of what you say. I worked full time and part time when my children were living at home and now I wonder how I ever did it. Enjoy the extra time with your children now. It doesn't seem like it at the time but it really does go by so quickly.
ReplyDeleteHello Christina, I have just found your blog for the first time and have so far only read this one post. Before I read any further I have to comment!
ReplyDeleteI have always wanted a tidy and organised home, but never yet managed it. What is most important is that your family is fed and loved and you carve a little time for fun and craft. There are always chores, they are never all done and they do not give satisfaction like something handmade. Look after yourself and your family. Your house is not for looking at, it is for living in. Congratulations on a new job! Wishing you much success - and now I am off to read the rest of your blog xx
FIrst of all I am thrilled for you that you get to be home a bit more with the new job. I completely understand how you feel about it all. I think it is even worse as you get older, like me, you need more time to yourself and you have less energy. It is crazy how much we put on ourselves to get done. ANd frankly we always are last in line. You are superwoman to me my friend because you are realistic and real on your blog about your life.
ReplyDeleteWe've all got those piles of shoes, cupboards that should carry a health warning in case you get squashed by falling contents when you open the door and less hours in the day than we really need. I don't need to see any of that when I read a blog post because I can see it all in my own house - I want to see the droplets of rain on leaves when you've been out for a walk, I want to see your dog in a sleeping bag, I want to know what you've made in those precious moments when you're not too exhausted to do something for yourself. Never worry about showing the best stuff because that's what the rest of us need to see when we get two minutes to take time off the rest of life, just to remind ourselves that it's still really there :-) xx
ReplyDeleteI am so pleased you have a new job. It is so hard to find the right work/life/parent balance and I am never really sure any of us find the right recipe but to be close is a good place to be. You sound so like me, people often say how do you find the time to make all tose things? - well other shit slides or I choose to use my time differently, that is just the way it is for me. Have a good weekend. Jo x
ReplyDeleteFinding balance in our lives – that Goldilocks state – is something we all struggle with, I'm sure. Most of us muddle through and hope it'll be ok. Blogs, FB, IG, etc, tend to show the glossy side because the reality is too much to bear! I've always thought your family sounds like a great team with everyone helping out. It's great that you will have more time at home to do some of the things you've been missing. Wishing you all the best for your new job (and I look forward to seeing all your beautiful hand made stuff!). Sam x PS Love that photo!
ReplyDeleteThree cheers for working less and having more time for your kids and yourself!
ReplyDeleteWell I think you are all superwoman (I include others in the comments). I think you will find that all you do is plenty good enough and there is so much you achieve that will be long lasting. We all teach our children through what we do and who we are as well as the attentions given specifically to them. I think it is a gift for your children to see you in your career while still managing to be creative for yourself. A measure of independence is also a good thing. I speak as a former stay at home mum who didn't pass on these things (although there were different things that do compensate - but it is not perfect either!) I admire working mothers but actually I admire many women. We are all different and there are choices to be made and compromises. No one truly has it all though. We can but do our best, which is always good enough. Not that we can be expected to do our best at all times (too tall an order I always think!) I think that one way or another we do okay based on what seemed best at the time.
ReplyDeleteBeing an interested and interesting person involved in life and living it, while having a creative output beats having folded clean towels and clean floors.
Cathy
That sounds wonderful, to have more time for you and your family. Someone once said to me that a tidy house equals a boring life, think on that when things get messy. There may be truth in it I once knew someone who had an immaculate house but you were on edge if you went there, she also said she gave up sewing as it is messy. Well there you are, we could all live in pristine boxes but never move or do anything for fear of messing them up. You enjoy your life and all its piles of shoes. xx
ReplyDeleteGlad you're hopefully be a little less stressed with the new job in respect to your family life. It's always a tough call how we manage our families and careers. I gave up working outside the home rather unexpectedly. At the time it was a huge change, but it gave me the time I craved to be with my daughter full time. It's not been perfect either. We all have to make certain sacrifices when we have a family. It's good that your older kids help out where they can. I think we all have a messy part of our homes that doesn't quite make it into the blogging posts ;)
ReplyDeleteWendy
Lovely post Christina, glad you shared such refreshing honesty. I do find all the 'perfect' blogs daunting sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. Firstly, good luck with your new job, I hope you find it fulfilling and that it gives you the balance you need. Secondly, you do not need to justify your life or choices to anyone - let people make assumptions, if they must, that is their problem not yours. You are cool Christina, and you are always doing what it right for yourself and your family. Love your honesty. xx
ReplyDeleteI used to have a tidy'ish house, if friends were coming over. Heaven forbid anyone just dropped in... Although a good Aussie house still has the front room which was perfect if anyone came to the front door. Mostly friends didn't they came to the back door and that's why you have a Crazy Poodle who hurls himself at any new arrival! It's a massive distraction from the chaos.
ReplyDeleteI definitely like order but then I also love family life and you know the good things about macaroni in the sink and shoes by the door? It means a meal has been cooked and the kids have actually gone somewhere and come back in one piece with their own shoes!! Bloody well done you. Enjoy your new job and your epic creative space!
Wren x