frayed at the edges
I am really tired. Bone tired, weary and exhausted. I don't often feel like that, thank goodness. The abysmal state of the world that is wearing me down. Maybe this is the real reason why I am so grumpy?
I am juggling to many plates, wear too many hats... My mummy hat is particularly worn out at the moment, frayed at the edges and shabby. I think I may have picked up a few too many filthy underpants. Here some "high"lights:
On Sunday, Alistair had a one hour tantrum, which started over dinner. I can't even remember what it was he was cross about but it was an impressive performance, which ended with him being sent to bed early. It was exhausting.
On Monday, I took Sam shopping for sports clothes because he had lost all his stuff and never bothered mentioning it until he had to go to the gym in his swimming trunks. I am not sure why I thought it was a good idea but after Decathlon, I suggested we pop into H&M to buy jeans and a few t-shirts and before I knew what was happening we had traipsed up and down Braehaed shopping centre (I loathe this place) and I spent £300 pounds on trainers, gym clothes, boots, jeans, tops, multivitamins, the lot. I am still in shock. It was exhausting.
Earlier on Monday, I spent 40 minutes waiting for James to find his rain coat on the school grounds - in the rain. I couldn't help because I had the dog. On the same day, James decided not to hand in the school disco money and return slip because he thought there was no money in it. I have no idea why. It was the last day of possible return. We still haven't found the rain jacket. It was exhausting (and wet).
On Tuesday, James and Alistair found a beer bottle on the playground. It was a full one. James thought it was a good idea to smash it against a tree but thankfully Alistair realised that it wasn't really and told me. James was sent back, wearing sturdy gardening gloves and carrying a double layered bag to pick up the glass. Meanwhile Alistair got the stern talk as he really should have stopped James. And yes, it was exhausting.
On Wednesday, Alistair was so urgent for the toilet that he wet himself half way up the front steps. It is a rare occurrence but both James and Alistair are bursting for the loo every single day when they come home from school. I don't know what stops them from using the toilets at school. These have recently been completely refurbished and should still be in an acceptable state. Need I say it? It was exhausting.
Everyday, Sam uses about 15 mugs. He is unable to re-use a mug or indeed bring any to the kitchen. He has been soaking clothes in the bath tub, leaving parmesan crusts in the shower room (dog treats?), wet towels on the floor, empty shower gel bottles in the shower....
Thursday has been ok so far but the day is still young. The weather is glorious and I have three sets of bedding drying in the sun.
Annie has been a pure delight except that she insisted on watching the Apprentice on the telly, which is about the most awful programme currently running. All those
Enough of this grumpiness, I'll be resuming my normal chipper service shortly. Any cheerful comment is highly appreciated. I may print each out and stick them on front door :-)
It seems like forever when you're going through it, but soon enough hopefully you will be saying, "Remember when..." And yeah, my kids wouldn't use the bathrooms at school if they could help it, and I don't really understand why. Strange creatures. I hope the grumpiness passes soon. I fear that I will have an underlying layer of the grumps until a certain orange person is no longer in office.
ReplyDeleteI could fill you in with toilet stories when I was a teacher but they might topple you over the edge! My boys were always the same, rushing home to go to the loo. Must be a school thing :). Fatal going shopping with a teen, they will drain you dry. Usually you end up getting everything but the vital item. Glad you’ve had a good Thursday so far. Top tip: stop watching the news, plead ignorance and do something that you enjoy.. good luck. B x
ReplyDeleteI love this post. You speak for all of us, Christina. Hey, did you watch the Apprentice when Donald Trump hosted it? I actually enjoyed that era of the show a lot. I learned quite a bit about business, not that I'll ever use any of it, probably. You brought back a memory with the beer bottles...when I was maybe nine years old, I and some neighbor kids found whole six-pack of full bottles hidden under a bush, probably some teenagers were going to come back for it. We decided to throw the bottles at the street, as hard as we could, to see them break. We all ended up getting a little cut, and also covered with beer. We got in so much trouble when our parents found out. Grounded forever. But it was actually fun while it lasted! I hadn't thought about that in so long...
ReplyDeleteChristina, I think you must have the patience of a saint. I know what it is like having boys... the mess alone is enough to drive you to exhaustion. Hang on in there and remember you are doing a brilliant job. And personally I think there is something in the air, possibly due to the dire state of world events because I have been totally worn out for the past week. Xxx
ReplyDeleteI blame the full moon for my current state of exhaustion (rather than the half marathon I ran on Sunday). Hold on to the fact that 'this too shall pass'..... eventually :o). I love the apprentice because they are all so pantomime awful! How is your running going? X
ReplyDeleteThe running is going ok on the whole. I may have a plantar fasciitis flare-up but holding my breath and doing my exercises. I just finished week 5 of my training program (Zombies, Run!) x
DeleteExcellent! Defo keep up with the exercises x
DeleteIt's a sad old world we're living in. Kids wear you down when they're there being kids and break your heart when they grow up and leave. If the sun shines it'll be better. When I taught our lost and found was always overflowing and at the end of the school year that which was not reclaimed was given to Goodwill.
ReplyDeleteI have had the most rubbish day and you have in some perverse way cheered me up. I guess it's knowing it's not just me. Boys are such utterly hard work aren't they. Honestly, mine push me absolutely to the limit of what I can endure almost every day. I have zero patience these days, I am grumpy and irritable and fit for nothing. And now the peaceful time when they are at school has been shattered by a naughty puppy. Let's run away somewhere calm and quiet with NO BOYS AND NO DOGS. CJ xx
ReplyDeleteEx bbc hack here also saying "drop the news". I can't bear it emotionally or mentally at the moment either. I'll regroup and catch up some day. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteI'd a nephew who also had aversion rho school loos and held on - just - until he got home then too every stitch off. I'm guessing the school ones were vile. I used to teach primary in a former life.. and the loo thing is understandable.
This too will pass and yes, you'll look back and giggle at the awfulness. A small whiskey at bedtime.....
It will pass. Eventually. But it will probably get worse before it gets better. Not helping really am I? I know how you feel - there were days when I shut myself in a cupboard and left the four children to themselves for five minutes. On the plus side, they're all now well adjusted adults and I have forgotten most of the awfulness.
ReplyDeleteHang on in there, you are doing a really good job. The exhaustion will pass...it may take awhile.
ReplyDeleteHey Christina,
ReplyDeleteI am boycotting the news. It's all just too awful, and I start yelling and getting really angry. So no more. And kids are exhausting full stop. I empathise on everything you've endured so far this week. Olly got his fourth red card. Fourth! It's not even half term yet! When did he become so naughty at school? Alf refused to come to parents evening. So I refused too. Now I feel like a completely disinterested parent. Grit your teeth, my love, and free wheel to the weekend.
Leanne xx
Someday you'll have them all grow up and move away and you will miss them.. :-) Says the woman whose both sons have moved back home in their 40s. LOL! My only recommendation is make them help with the housework. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)
ReplyDeleteKids.....what can I say except, they can all be proper pains in the proverbial. Hopefully the coming week will be a better one for you. Hopefully they will get their act together and behave like pleasant people. What is it with kids and school toilets? My girls hated going to the school toilets as well. As for the world, I just wish that one day it would wake up one morning and decide to be different, be a place free of mad men and their guns.
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to take your post lightly, but it brought a smile to my face when I remember the fond memories of my own children at this age..they are now adults and my home is so quiet. When my son returns for a visit, I have the 15 glasses he uses each day for water. And, how I miss those times of bonding shopping for their school clothes or doing a last minute run to the craft store to get their white board for the school project. As my mom used to tell me, these years will go by do fast and yes they do. In the meantime for sure you need to set aside a little time for yourself. But, from what I read, you're a wonderful mother with a dear family. Take care dear Christine. Pat xx
ReplyDeleteSometimes you feel as though you just can't get your head out of the water no matter how hard you try and it wears you down. Sometimes I wonder when will it get easier? I'm not quite sure it will and I'm trying to make my peace with this scary fact. In the meantime I take comfort in the little things, enjoy making things and being creative, a definite saving grace, and try to do some yoga breathing exercises from time to time, that helps too occasionally. You're only human Christina, it's only understandable that life is exhausting when you have 4 kids and a job. You do your best and you're there for everyone, and from time to time do something for yourself, by my account you're on the right track, I hope so because I'm right behind you! Take care x
ReplyDeleteChristina, I am laughing but I know it isn't funny but it is how I feel right now too. We had a spelling test breakdown this morning and I was 45 minutes late for work helping someone learn the word 'believe' at the age of seven. Which is ironic because people in my GCSE group which I taught this afternoon can't spell it at the age of 19 so I had this quandary about who I should be giving my time to. There are dips and troughs Christina, just keep your head up and keep treading water. Jo xxxxx
ReplyDeleteI'm full of empathy, every scenario sounds familiar. I prescribe lrge glass of wine and some
ReplyDeleteI can remember the tantrum / meltdown / shouting or whatever it was during my son's 'growing up'. As a toddler I think I got off lightly with him but as a teenager, golly it's hard work some times.
ReplyDeleteI'd say it gets easier but I'm not sure it does. The episodes are fewer but ... well each person is different. One thing I've learnt in dealing with my teenager (17) is to say nothing, not as a cop out but it just makes it all worse if you don't appear to understand.
Saying that, I've stopped the car a few times (safely) and 'basically' said shush! I just can't drive when he makes me so angry. It's the low self esteem and negativity that youngsters seem to have nowadays, then if he feels people think or say something 'against him'... My husband wants to 'tell him' that the people concerned didn't mean it the way he's taken it etc.
As weird as it sounds - mixed messages, I think kids seem to want their parents to act like parents and not their friends despite wanting us to 'listen' to their weird twisted logic when they've got the wrong end of the stick. I'm not really sure there is a right way to handle these things but it sounds like you are doing a great job. You just need buckets of patience.
Cathy x
OMG.It's all been said but my golly you need a break some time for just YOU.I lOVE reading your blog.Huggles x
ReplyDeleteIt's no wonder you feel as you do, though I often start feeling a bit down at this time of year. I'm definitely a summer girl and I can feel myself starting to slide into a bit of a slump at this time of year with winter ahead. Daniel was exactly the same, holding on till he got home from school to go to the toilet. He said it was because there was always wee on the toilet floor, though I doubt that. I think they just prefer using their own toilet at home.
ReplyDeleteThe state of the world, particularly my country has me and so many others exhausted. It is like we are living in a constant state of high alert, what is going to happen next? The buffoon that is president, the threat of nuclear war, the horrendous hurricanes, fires and earthquakes. It is all too much! Then we have a mad mad kill 58 people and injure over 500, all because republicans love their guns. I find it ironic they are against abortion and birth control yet allow anyone to but a gun to kill people. IF it makes you feel any better Little Buddy had three accidents yesterday and one today. I have no idea what has happened, he was doing so good. Hang in there, being a Mom is not an easy job.
ReplyDeleteJust read this after throwing major tantrum myself at home. We have no heating except for log burner in one room because of building work. Found black mould in wardrobes upstairs. Spent large part of day sorting this. Sitting down with glass of wine in front of fire. Asked husband to turn music down. He was sulky about this.......etc, etc. Frayed at edges too. BTW was in Edinburgh yesterday with daughter at Ini open day. She's applying there. Xx
ReplyDeleteI agree that the state of the world is enough to get us down, and then add in some unruly children and their antics. You certainly have had a tough week and hopefully the coming week will be an improvement. Regretfully, I have no funny stories to cheer you.
ReplyDeleteIt's always darkest before the dawn.
ReplyDeleteThis, too, will pass
Chin up, Chuck. It could be worse.
There we are, three positive comments. I hope this week is better than last. Bless you x
Oh Christina, I do sympathise. This is often how I feel, although you articulated it so much better. The hats we wear, it's exhausting changing them all so frequently. I hope you feel recharged now. Xx
ReplyDelete