a crunching sensation and a wandering mind

January has been going on for a long time. I was dismayed to see that we are only half way through. Maybe it is because I had something to look forward to and now I don't. I had planned to go to Malawi for a week of work but it is not happening. I am disappointed to say the least. 

To distract myself I decided to search for my inner happy self and do some yoga. In another life a long time ago I went to weekly yoga classes and I loved it. My last yoga teacher was an older man, in his early seventies. He always wore interesting t-shirts, black and usually with a wolf or a tiger on and he always cracked the same jokes. It was a comforting 90 minute routine but I always hoped he would start checking and helping with the downward facing dog pose near me because it took a while to go around the class and we stayed in pose until everyone's dog had been checked and corrected. I don't remember why I stopped going but we all know that once a routine is broken, it is difficult to get back into it. My yoga teacher has long retired and classes in a actual real studio are not easy to find. Instead, I stumbled over yoga with Adriene on YouTube and decided to have a go. I fooled myself into believing that I could just continue where I left it, a little like an old beloved friendship that is rekindled with ease. Alas, not. My body is older, less flexible and rounder. A bit tummy makes forward bends difficult and my legs and arms were trembling by the time I was done. So for my next sessions, I scrolled down to the beginner section and chose two short videos to work with.  One was to ease up neck and shoulders. Much better. Except that now I am very aware of the crunching sensation coming from my neck when I turn me head with a focused mind. My ageing body is full of surprises and so far none of them good. 

Today I saw the sun and I was happy. I took the photo of the path while running. I am pleased it is not blurred. I am of course running very slowly and modern smartphone cameras are quite astonishing. In summer, this path is a green tunnel. The first clump of snowdrops under our pear tree also made me happy. 

I was thinking today that I might read a real book printed on paper. The last time I held a book and read it was during our summer camping holiday. I enjoy listening to books, I find it easier to focus on the story. Written words always seem to tumble away when I read for a while, particularly when I am tired, which I am often. I used to read a lot but I always skipped lines and was a super fast reader, more of a scanner really. It was a bit annoying losing context with this kind of sloppy reading. I find it almost impossible to slow down. This made me turn to audio in the first place because skipping lines requires me to consciously press a button and listening at a faster speed is weird. My mind wonders less when I listen to something. When I read scientific papers for work it takes me forever and 30 minutes because I have to re-read and take notes. When I read student essays, I always annotate them because it makes me stop and re-focus. It is so annoying and time consuming. Any thoughts? How can I learn or re-learnt to maintain focus on written text?

Anyway, I must go now, bedtime. Thanks for visiting. Have a wonderful week 🙂.